Emu Boots Cleaning Kit

[Naruto ] Crashing Mirror

Fandom: Naruto (Naruto / Sasuke, Itachi light / Sasuke)
Title: Crashing Mirror
Author: Misako93
Rating : PG13
Genere : introspettivo, angst, hurt/comfort
Avvisi : what if, post-shippuuden, differenze con la trama originale.
Date drafting : April 10, 2009
Summary: Sasuke is back in Konoha. It all seems quiet, but the ex-nukening something is slowly breaking, the reflection of someone never disappeared completely.
Note: I was not convinced a girlfriend when I started writing this fic. It had to be a kind of parody, one of many to tease the dear Uchiha. But in the meantime I've been involved in an RPG in which he played Sasuke, and I'm fond of this character, for which has developed thick and did this shot angst. Although it is probably going OOC, I like to think that gives a Sasuke without notice, going to pieces like a mirror covered with cracks.




The first thing that should be said about me is that we should not talk to me. After all, in theory, I should not even exist. That is, I should be dead, I think.
Usually I avoid thinking about it, because I conclude that it ends up being actually dead, and that's why I'm experiencing is a kind of hell. Then the usual
usuratonkachi enters the restaurant for breakfast, and the reality is all too real; only he can eat ramen at a quarter past seven in the morning before an A-ranked mission.
.... perhaps this could be a bit 'of confusion. What makes us
someone like me to serve ramen in a restaurant? It 's a long story, which can be summarized in one sentence as absurd as inconceivable: the punishment for the criminals level S is not death, is the ramen. And, as Tsunade was kind enough to let me see, is practically perfect for me: everyone knows that Uchiha hate sweets (except Itachi who is a special case). But that is Uchiha Sasuke-hate-myself that ramen. The reason is
one.
- Sasuke-chan! why the hell have opened so late this morning?? I'm starving, Dattebayo!
E 'the same reason that he entered the store as not just five minutes and already I'm sick of bringing this about. The same reason that has prevented the Hokage to apply to me a perfectly reasonable penalty. The same reason they say Dattebayo should be punishable by law. A high ground more or less like me, who I know since the days of the academy (and has never changed dietary habits since then, I assure you), who has blond hair, a bit 'longer take them as then, and eyes blue, and those are always the same. One reason for the name Uzumaki Naruto.
- this morning .... Miso Dattebayo!
... ok. A perpetually hungry pattern named Uzumaki Naruto.
- Naruto, I woke up ten minutes ago, give me two minutes of rest? I have headaches - the excuse of headache usually works. Also because he knows that I suffer from when Kakashi-sensei and company have tried to seal the cursed seal permanently. Unfortunately, they did block any vessels of the circulatory system of the chakras, so I peak pressure resulting in excruciating pain at the back of his head that make me really mad. Somehow it seems that Naruto is sorry for that.
- He! So that's why you open late? I bet you did yesterday still the wee hours in the company of a bottle of sake!
Again with this story ... I can not stand alcohol, I know perfectly. But sometimes I really need to pull off.
Good thing I have to only serve ramen. I will just lay the steaming bowls in front of customers, taking care not stuffing them with your fingers (as happened to me the first few times, and I caught always scolded by the cook). So Naruto servant, and I am leaning on the counter for a while 'watching strafogarsi exclaimed after a quick "itadakimasu. It 's absurd when he eats, I can not help but smile as I look at it. Not never know whether to be disgusted or amused by his famelicità.
- how do you know that we open late? You were not here before to wait. - The only shop open at this absurd for him in practice. Fortunately there are many cases Konoha humans feel the need to eat ramen for every meal.
- I was out here about ten minutes to wait, but since no one came, I went to get me a ride ... - Pauses to drain the last sip of soup and I will return the empty bowl - Gochisosama it! Now I have to really get away, otherwise I'll be late ...
E 'curious. Naruto hours usually stalls before leaving. - The mission that you have today?
- nah, no mission! exams begin today for chunnin and are one of the examiners ...
- wakatta ... - Have never become chunnin. I mean, I never had to take an examination to become one. My name still stands in the register, but only because Naruto has so insisted. According to him, however, are still a ninja of Konoha, and my level should allow me to be Jounin without even testing. It 's the usual idiot. Has not yet figured out that I've failed as a shinobi across the board. I would not be here to serve ramen, if I had the opportunity to continue my career. But that's what's going to do shit, no, Sasuke?
- mata ne! - I throw the money on the counter and shoots away.
- search to set a good example, at least you, Usuratonkachi - pff. Naruto examiner and I made a ramen shop.
Who would have thought?

*

are different. Ok that is normal, if I had stayed at nineteen equal to six or seven years ago would have been a little worrying. But it's not just my face to be changed. I look in the mirror and I get a thrill every damn time. Especially at night, if I made a couple of glasses. Or if you are the first hours of the morning after a sleepless night, with the sun still hidden behind the mountains.
Those dark marks under his eyes remind me Itachi. That's him in the mirror, back to haunt me. Remains to burn holes in the back with his damn eyes when he turned his back. Although I know that is not really there.
It 'really my brother, and it destroys me. No matter how I insist on trying to keep their hair shorter than his, is always under my skin, which I see as crumbling in one of his genjutsu to bring out his face instead of my ... and then I drown in the sake. I know I should not do that, because of the aftermath of the drugs that I took when I was still with Orochimaru and another million reasons, but at least I can fool myself again. I flatter myself again that I'm not going crazy, I'm just drunk. It's not my mind to be damaged, the bottle is always empty too quickly. And what stirs in my stomach is just alcohol. Guilt does not even know where he is at home.

*

- Sasuke, but you have to leave? Oi! Sasuke?
... I fell asleep? I do not remember what we were talking about. And the pain in the neck is almost unbearable, but it is easing a little ...
- or? Sasuke?
- ... I'm sorry, I did not sleep a wink last night ... What were you saying?
- I say that you should take a couple of days off. I mean, when you were assigned the task you have failed to even shop Sunday!
- but I do not mind staying on Sunday ... I do not know what to do at home. At least I keep myself busy ...
- I mean really! You are very very very pale ....
- Hee, then there will! - My skin color is of course dead for some years now.
- Sasuke. I'm really saying. - I do not like. He repeats things, calling me by name without any suffix. It 's too close for my taste.
- Naruto, I'm fine ...
But I is not listening more. - Hey, ojisan! why not by a few days off to Sasuke-chan, ne? - ... God, I hope you do not hear it!
- Narut--
- Ano sa! Ano sa! me and Sakura-chan go to the spa here we are out of town for the weekend with Shikamaru, Chouji and Ino ... Come along, come on! There will also Kakashi-sensei is a bit 'you do not see, I often ask you ...
- BUT THAT STRESS! - The hissing in my face, no longer able to restrain myself. At this moment I do not care what comes out of my mouth - you may know why you're so attached to the crust?!? What the hell makes you think he still has the desire to do any one thing?!? I do not know why they are still alive instead of half decomposed in a common grave marked "Criminal Class S "in red letters and you come and tell me if I want to come to the spa with a lot of people would have every right to spit in my eye ...?!? But what the fuck do you want to know-- sbam.
... I do not know exactly what happened, apart from the fact that Naruto has struck me, and that instead of looking at him now I'm looking at the wall that was three seconds ago on my right. I feel the taste of blood, and a rather sore cheek.
- Sasuke, give us a break. - Take me by the shoulders, and forces me to watch it again. - Ne?
I think that gave me a punch, rather than a slap, but I'm not so sure. I shook a bit '- Give it a rest now. - I'm afraid. I'm afraid to fall apart. But if I feel my cheeks wet probably means that my nerves have gone before me without asking my opinion. After all who am I to stop me follow suit? There
Naruto to accompany my final collapse on the counter, and his hands to remove the hair knotted handkerchief I hold the workplace.
No, maybe not Itachi. Would not be such a thing never happened (as if it could ever have happen to serve ramen in a restaurant). I am comforted by very little.



* The last quarter of an hour is a bit 'a mess.
I had a vague perception of Naruto that he spoke with the owner of the shop, which helped me to get up and took me home (when he found out that I have returned to live in my old house in the neighborhood Uchiha? "I told him no, I had not told anyone). He was in my kitchen. Prepare a strong tea, I think. He mumbled something about it.
- I can not believe that your kitchen is more empty than mine. The tea was still packed. There is not even the milk in the fridge, so to speak. But you know what the hell can you eat in the morning?
- ... ramen. - Bellowing. Not the sound of my voice. Not the sound of a voice.
sip a little 'tea (when I put it before?) enjoying a bit 'of its heat.
- that you eat ramen?? Each morning for more! But are you really Uchiha Sasuke? - Kidding, but has no idea what we went by. I'm really Uchiha Sasuke?
hate ramen, and the more you eat, the more I come to hate. Except that I did not really want to start cooking something more elaborate, ramen, canned is fine for someone who should be dead.
- Sasuke Damn, look, you're a rag. I bet you're also coming some accident ...
The scent of Naruto is something strange. E 'clean but wild, like a tamed fox. The comparison is not reported the Kyuubi, I swear, I can not even come to mind. The fox in theory does not give you the impression of something warm and cozy. Naruto. And though it seems terribly awkward, is capable of being delicate.
The human brain is truly amazing when you consider how many impressions and information processing in the time of contact of lips on his forehead that lasted less than two seconds. At the same time, you realize how terribly stupid of the instinct that compels you to grab a guy you've seen (in chronological order) an idiot, a loser, a damn loser, a friend, a monster, your best friend , a dreamer, a scassacazzo, a fool, an obstacle, an idiot, a ramen-eating, which you probably bought the license chunnin if it has not passed the exam for a miracle, and perhaps the only person that really care how you feel, as if it were the ultimate certainty of your life in the world.
stupid thing, it is probably also true.

*

no apparent reason, Naruto has begun to move in with me. At first merely a walk with me to my house after I had finished working, then started to get a drink, then sleep there (in my brother's futon), and then we started a. .. be '. Being a couple? maybe.
Now I get up in the morning, trying not to wake Naruto (who sleeps with me in my brother's futon), but failed miserably each time, kissed him before leaving to open the shop, then joined me and we have breakfast together. Then he is to accomplish its missions, and I work. After lunch we will pick and train together. Thanks to the intervention of my chakra Neji now runs quite normally, and I can use almost all my old jutsu. I am preparing for the examination of Jounin. When I went to sign up have not tried to kill me, so I suppose that I'm not trying prohibited.
Sometimes when we walk side by side Naruto took my hand. And I always do laugh when he kisses me on the street and blush.
It 's absurd, which is not at all shocked by the sudden turn things have taken. Indeed.
What is really absurd is that I noticed just now. Now, just hours before the sun rises, when I look in the mirror, I see where Naruto is sleeping peacefully (in my brother's futon, where up to two minutes before I was there).
I see my skin, full and tight. Compact sound. The eye sockets were filled, my irises, the first weak and faded, no longer leave the sharingan to see in the dark. And the Naruto series on my clavicles sways with every movement I make, reflecting blue light as his eyes. This is not the
that no longer seems Itachi. Inevitably going to drive me looks more and more, at least physically. But I have the happiness that my brother never had.
in the mirror And there's my smile.

(I think it was what I really wanted Itachi)

How Long Does Ice Take To Freeze

[Tokio Hotel] Get Back # 2

Fandom: Tokio Hotel; Twincest (Tom / Bill)
Title: Get Back
Author: Misako93
Rating: R Genre
: Drama, Angst, Introspective, Hurt / Comfort
Warnings: Rape, Violence, Drug Use, Adult Content.
Date drafting : August 23, 2008
Summary:
I do not want to walk away. It 'just came back, though again it would go away really die.
Notes: This fanfiction was written last year for a contest community Kaulitzestita . I must admit that I do not remember "XD I had to reread it before you publish it here. E 'curious, but it happens often with my shots. Maybe because I write so cast ... Anyway. In theory this should be one shot, but incredibly was a bit 'too long. So I split in two.


I'm afraid to open my eyes.
I do not want to see. I do not want to think. I will not repent. Read My Lips
its taste is still so clear that I seem to be finished in a dream, the end of the nightmare of my reality.

*

I fled.
I do not know how.
Just before I was backstage, undecided what to do, and the next second I was sitting in a cafe in a town on the outskirts of some cities without the faintest idea of what would have been my life since then.
I could not sit at look at the people eating his bowl of ice cream in peace and stay there forever? I would also be gone, but I knew it was physically impossible to do. Sooner or later someone would recognize me.
I had spent the night in an abandoned taxi, in an atmosphere that seemed so surreal to be done in the movies. I had so much money that I can keep for life, and I was reduced to sleeping in a car like a homeless. But I could not use my wealth to give me a break most appropriate. I would be caught immediately and, in my plan, it was essential to get away. If David and I had taken back in the band, I could no longer watch Tom in the eye.
Sitting at the cafe with my cup of ice cream now over I could imagine the expression that you would be painted on the face of my sister if I had brought back just a reflection of my squinting eyes that vaguely reflected in the drip of cream melted on the bottom of the cup.
Why did you leave? What is it, Bill? You can tell me.
Wrong, Tomi. I could not say anything. If I did I could no longer even look in the mirror, let alone look at you.
I knew that somehow it was because of that girl. I became so nervous after Tom told me.
had an appointment with a serious girlfriend. It might seem like science fiction for those who did not know my brother, but I knew that despite all the poses and head shots, Tom was a good boy. I knew that if he had really liked this girl, and if she had returned, Tom could pull out a really long-lasting relationship.
It was that thought that I had destroyed, I think.
The thought of seeing Tom with a girl for a lifetime, while I lived beside him and its her. Forced to smile.
I would not have ever made.
I loved Tom.
Maybe it's a lie though, because if I was really able to love I could bear it, happy to see him happy.
No. The truth is that I loved Tom, but a jealous and possessive love, those whose principal Act is "The important thing is that you live in the happiness of the happy" , I want a love that was not a one-way, I wanted Tom loved me and I wanted to turn, as I loved him and wanted him.
I would have satisfied the tiny signs of fraternal affection, if Tom had not decided to attach to someone who was not me, but with a woman I'd be gone in half a second floor.
So I decided to leave.
I seemed a really good idea. I knew I could do something stupid if I remained. So I should really
give an explanation.
Escape was much simpler. Perhaps by cowards. But simple.
I had never been able to ship in rough waters.



* The smell of Tom is something I wonder every time I hear it.
Somehow it is always different, always I take a different nuance in the rich mixture of its smell.
wearing the shirt now knows that fresh and clean, but even this is beginning to gain the scent of his sweat with the mind that brings me back to all the concerts we've done with Tokio Hotel, when we hug after every show together and Tom was always one of the most rotten. Then there Note scented wax used for hair care: It's been ten long years despite his Rasta are still in place, perhaps a little 'less care than before, but by no means neglected. What is new is the cologne that I do not remember him ever heard him, and the slight bitterness of a shave. But everything is covered by the smell of his body, his skin has a warm aroma, like what's under the covers on a cold night in winter and the only thing you want is to wrap the sweet warmth of goose down.
smell of home and family. Scent of love.


*

- Hey girl, here is space?
jerk abruptly, realizing that they were addressed to me. I did not realize that the boy had approached my table.
He sputtered a couple of excuses and I get up, not knowing how to behave.
I do to get away, but I was stopped by the same voice as before - look what I told you not to leave. You can stay here if you want.
I go back and sit in my chair.
What the hell am I doing? I should take it and go. I'm in trouble now, surely there's already people that you are looking for and, although I changed the scene with a layer of makeup eyeshadow pink and gold stolen from Dunja, which is not exactly unrecognizable. E 'already so if someone does not have stopped me for an autograph.
- What's a girl like you all alone in a small town like this? I've never seen here, you're not here ...
Oh dear, again. All we need is the guy asking me the curious things called "girl". Be 'at the bottom also right, no make-up man in pink. Neither do I. I would have done had I not been in need.
- Hey, are you dumb?
- No - he snapped. That guy is really annoying.
- Hey, You're not one of those guys who became a sex change, right? I hope that your voice is so hoarse for this ...
I look at him shocked. I took for a transvestite!
- Of course not! I'm just a boy! - I do not care if she recognized me. I have never been insulted in this way and I will not allow someone to start now.
I see him arching an eyebrow and giggled, before sipping his coffee, or whatever the hell it is.
- I was right then. - He says in a whisper - are you that singer, no? the guy they're looking for everyone. I feel my lungs empty
shooting. Shit. I'm fucked. Completely fucked. Now this guy takes me by the shoulder, takes me to the bar, says the owner to call the police and I end my short break, then David will give me a wash head and I'll have to explain to my brother ... God
- Hey, look there's no need to become so pale. I have no interest in or surrendered to the authorities who the hell you are looking for. I hate the state. He just caused trouble. Indeed, if you want I can also offer a place to stay. Not here, though. Further to the north. Far to the north. Outside of Germany, I mean.
- And you expect that you follow with a light heart, no? Obvious. Everyone follows the proposals of the unknown. - Flash and feeling offended by his familiarity.

*

I had an instinctive fear of Lukas. I did not trust. Not at first, anyway.
But something had melted my prudence. Something in his gestures. In his eyes. Or maybe it was just that kind of smile, a bit 'but at the same time so arrogant.
I agreed to follow it because I saw that smile in the shadow of Tom, desperately seeking something that reminds me of him.
At first I was treated with kid gloves, was really kind and thoughtful, wondering if I was hungry or needed something. I had even opened the door in a gallant gesture that made me feel embarrassed, because making me go back in front of the seat belt was broken, or so at least maintained.
I thought it was all going pretty well.
Even when I saw him go after me, closing the door behind him, I imagined how things could go wrong.

*

floor groaned when Tom pressed me more of him making me crack his ribs cracked. I brought a hand to his chest, massaging to decrease a little 'pain button.
- Bill? It 's okay?
I ignored his question and continued to sink my nose into his clothes soaked with him.
stroked my hair, I knew I wanted an answer. - Do not worry - I whispered for the first time since I had crossed the threshold of his house.

*

Lukas pulls up the zipper of his jeans. It can clearly hear the noise-zzziip! - And I doubt after the sound of the seat belt-clack! - Is secured.
- I was right. You're the singer, Bill Kaulitz ... and I was also right that you were a great fuck. - Laughs.
I'm not moving. I do not answer. My head does not work. My senses are so reactive that I feel insane. The seat rough. A hot liquid that falls in between me and legs. My muscles are contracted convulsively, I feel that if more than breath so I'll end torn in two. Every breath is a knife that I gutted, but I can not die.
close my eyes, but I can not help but think what Tom would say if he knew that I trusted a stranger. A tear wets my cheek.

*

From time Lukas had raped me in the car, I felt like a puppet with the strings cut. I could see me as if I were watching from the outside, while he was playing with my body, stripping it and covering it like a doll.
If it was not satisfied, Lukas beat me. I usually kicked, or slapped. Sometimes he hit me for no reason, but do not take me long to make connections with his tantrums and strokes. It was a drug addict, and when he had enough money vented its withdrawal on me.
I never said no.
It 's one thing I think and think, and each time is worse.
I never said no.
I never tried to defend myself, to oppose. I never yelled at him that Lukas was tired of being his whore. Since I had put a hand on him, was bound as if he had never signed a contract that allowed him to exploit them at will without me to do a single fold.
Maybe because I think I deserve.
Maybe it was the proper punishment for someone who dreamed of making love with your sister. Lukas

endured for years. Then I ran away. I dressed quickly enough after having sex, stealing the 'last dose of drug in my tormentor, close pulcioso in his apartment using the keys left in jeans and go out in the cold of a November that did not even know what year it was.
hurt my ribs broken, and nausea withdrawal that I had driven me to keep me good waned.


*

- Tom, I said that everything is ok ... - Tom protested feebly when I slipped a hand under my shirt I was wearing tattered, reaching my hand.
- Does it hurt when I touch you here? What happened to you?
- Tom - begged him, closing his eyes. It hurt. Even within.
He sighed and pressed me to lie down on the couch in a more comfortable position. His hands stroked my hair was the most beautiful thing in the world.
- I love you - I muttered without thinking. I feared his reaction, but now I had nothing to lose. Tom had lost ten years ago, with my integrity.
My sister took my hand in hers. - I know - he murmured with a broken smile. In his eyes there was written the awareness of what I had before. - I'm here, now, Bill.
I was ashamed. I cried. I hid her face in her hands, letting all the pain repressed Accumoli dispersed over the years in the embrace Hot Tom that I had entered on impulse.
almost did not remember that effect was being hugged. Even Tom's face became clouded with the passing of years looking in the mirror I no longer saw him but a skeleton too much makeup.
- Bill - whispered lips - do not worry about anything, okay? I am here with you now. We are together again.
nodded.

epilogue

Bill regained weight quickly. With a little 'patience could tell me almost everything that had passed, even if I did not know what was easily discernable.
had changed a lot since he had gone, but it was not really grown. It was somehow blocked, but the fact that behave as if we both still twenty years I did not mind: preventing me from thinking about the time we had lost.
And I ... be '. Life was not the weight that had been in previous years.
Bill was reborn. It was a phoenix risen from the ashes. His enthusiasm drew me too.
My hands learned to make it flourish, and I found out how much I had missed a night of pure sin and new certainties.



Tom had a lot of patience with me. Despite the constant attacks of panic that I had after that period of separation, he never tried to follow me to a psychologist. He would done things that I did not want a shrink and was the last person I would have asked. I knew that maybe I needed it, but it was something I did not feel the need. I also needed to go to a doctor, or get me close to a clinic for drug addiction, but after almost a year we discovered that I had not needed. I
Tom. If I suddenly had come to miss the food, water and air to live, I would have died anyway, because I had my, I drank and breathed Tom. Tom was my medicine, it was my psychologist, was my lover. I
Tom. All the rest I needed.

Sims 2 Mansion And Garden Stuff No Cd

[Tokio Hotel] Get Back # 1

Fandom: Tokyo Hotel; Twincest (Tom / Bill)
Title: Get Back
Author: Misako93
Rating: R
Genre: Drama, Angst, Introspective, Hurt / Comfort
Alerts: Rape, Violence, Drug Use, Adult Content.
Date drafting : August 23, 2008
Summary:
I do not want to walk away. It 'just came back, though again it would go away really die.
Notes: This fanfiction was written last year for a contest community Kaulitzestita . I must admit that I do not remember "XD I had to reread it before you publish here. E 'curious, but it happens often with my shots. Maybe because I write so cast ... Anyway. In theory this should be one shot, but incredibly was a bit 'too long. So I split in two.



- Hey Tomi ...
The feeble voice of Bill greeted me and my sister fell unconscious at my feet in the doorway of my house.

*

I pretend not to know how many years since I saw my brother, but unfortunately I remember only too well the date and circumstances of his death.

was on July 11 a decade ago when Bill, after a concert, disappeared nothing. As usual he had fled from the stage before the rest of us, but when we went backstage, ready to celebrate the night just ended, we realized that Bill was not there. I always wondered how he managed to evade the bodyguard. And then the fans. How had he escaped without being chasing horde of girls eager for autographs and photos Assatanate crammed in and out of locations? It had not been kidnapped, because we knew Bill had disappeared with a small cosmetic bag with his tricks and his leather jacket.
natural to try to contain the news of his death, but it was clear that "Bill is unwell and can not sing tomorrow" sounded very as a stratospheric bullshit. The truth leaked out quickly and began to panic. So he opened the hunting Bill Kaulitz, attended by police, friends, fans worried and modern bounty hunters who hope to gain something.

After five years of fruitless searches, the German state Bill Kaulitz declared legally dead.

were five years of hell for me, during which I experienced drugs, psychotropic drugs and depressions at will. I do not think so and I had found drugs in the fastest way out. It was unthinkable to seek escape in the sound of my guitar as I did in the past, I had also tried, but when my fingers inevitably ended up playing the chords of In die Nacht, I threw in the towel. And I began to do shit. I do not boast. It took me quite hard to get out to even think to try again. That stuff is crap and tried it on my skin, my flesh. In my veins. But Bill was too important. Bill was too present in my head even when there was not.

The real problem, I realized with a clear mind afterwards, was that I never had any idea of why Bill is gone. Even now I do. And for years I have done something wrong, that crushed me. Not that it is now lighter, mind you. But now they are too resigned to anything to feel guilt.

I had never noticed anything strange, the days prior to his escape Bill had never shown signs of sadness or stress, or problems of any kind. Indeed, the whole band was dragged by his enthusiasm for the tour, Gus and George were more active than ever and stupid, and I had met Denise, who shortly thereafter, if Bill had not disappeared, throwing into the abyss of despair, could have become perhaps the first serious girlfriend I ever had the time of Devilish. He was really excited, it was not - as some have assumed - fiction, its vitality, was the small sun always, star of our group that brought light, joy and desire to break the stage with our music.

Bill likened to a star is an image in my head is perfect.
A star at the end of his career, can become a white dwarf, a star is tiny and almost invisible with time to become gradually fainter until it disappears altogether and end up in oblivion, becoming a dwarf black, is what usually happens to celebrities of little importance.
But those are small stars.
The biggest stars explode at some point, making an uproar, and become supernovae, often destined to become neutron stars, and then to collapse.
That 's what happened to Bill, and its explosion coincided with the time of his death.
Bill has become a black hole.
E 'sunk in the surface space-time by creating a funnel in which all ends in without possibility of release.
I know I did. Tom Kaulitz, guitarist of Tokio Hotel, has been sucked into a black hole that it has canceled, and was reduced to almost any thirties who lives in the shadow of nostalgia for the twin brother probably died.

*

I was a terrible lump in my throat as I bent down towards the corpse of the dead worried about my brother.
- Bill - called the plan. Too many times I repeated the vacuum, that name. So many that now seemed almost nonsensical. Hardly seemed to me that really was once belonged to a person.
picked him up, astonished at her too lightly. Ten years ago it was not so skinny. It was not ever so much. The
adagiai on the couch feeling close to the stomach.

*

- Bill?
I feel like a thirteen year old to his first crush. Indeed.
A thirteen year-old, a thirteen-year madly in love that feels the need to call her best friend at two in the night to confide in her. I do
punishment alone.
I push the door up. Is not that who wants to disturb. I just wanted to tell him. It should make him happy. After all, my brother, even if it is not the night he will be sorry ...
Suddenly I no longer want to give so much to Bill's great news ... it is not so important!
- Enter Tom, is a moment in the bathroom, I'll be right!
Ok. Now I'm sure it's a bad idea. Even if it is my sister and I love him, and now I'm used to, I hate to be around when in "fairy-mode".
Check the bathroom wrapped in a towel a bit 'short for his height, systems such as certain models of deodorant commercials, from the armpits to the thighs almost completely uncovered.
"It fuckin 'sexy' think my brain before I can stop him.
"no," the reproach mentally he is not sexy, is the image of the model of deodorant. I just made a mental association ... "
So why can not I watch it without having to swallow?
- Here I am - he smiles, rubbing his hair with a towel. - What is it?
- I-I ... uhm ... - I is mixed language.
- sit down, yes? - Bill invites me snuggled in turn and crossing her legs.
I sit a bit 'stiff beside him. - Do you know ... the girl that I showed you at the party ...? - Started a bit 'hesitant.
- M-mh, Mora last night, no? You've got this ... - Bill replied after a pause.
- Here ... I asked the mobile phone number ... and I have a date tonight!
Bill opens his mouth in amazement. Or at least ... the expression in his eyes is so dense that even I - his sister - I struggle to untangle. I suppose it is surprised. Well .. I have an appointment! Tom Kaulitz that for once does not have a night stand is an event!
- An appointment!? With a girl?
- Hey, go out there with the boys, me! - Exclaimed, laughing. Seeing the words of Bill darkening me realize that I have offended.
- Bill did not mean to say ... I know that you're not gay! I told you wrong ... In short I'm sorry.
stretched a smile off - No I know, everything is ok.
mind, and I know. I know I hurt. It is now so tired and irritated by the constant criticism of his look and he's tired of the various plate against which it is going to crash everywhere to be able to endure the comments of us guys band, even though they are only jokes.
- Be ', great - comments - I'm glad you finally have a girlfriend ...
- Not yet but ... We hope so! I really like Denise. She's got beautiful eyes and is very nice and funny. Will appeal to you, you'll see!
Bill smiles wearily. - I'm sure ... I hope not to find it rather annoying I would be a problem.
- It'll be the obnoxious! No one is nasty. - I smile to myself.
- But now I wanted to go to bed ... I'm sorry to go in your room? If you do not sleep at least some time tomorrow I'll ko .. and farewell concert ... and you too have to sleep, otherwise you're not gonna quit ... with Denise. Not many compliments
me to the door, gives me a kiss on the cheek and slams the door in my face.

*

never went appointment with Denise, why Bill disappeared the same day. Perhaps
had planned on purpose, knowing that after the concert I was supposed to come out with this girl, he could leave without him I could have prevented.
But why? Why?
I've thought long and hard. I believe he was a boy. Or at least he was in love.
Perhaps it was my line output with the boys to have him upset. Maybe he thought that if he really put a guy I would not have accepted, so he preferred to leave. In Bill
therapy often dreamed of a boy in her arms while she cried because of me, her cruel sister who hated him because homosexual. The boy finally hugs him and kiss him on the lips.
One night I woke up suddenly after that dream: that boy was my face.

*

Bill throws his towel to the crowd and goes backstage as holed up at every concert. I, Gustav and Georg remain on stage.
It 's too funny to play with fans. Here they are, while screaming, hoping that the pick of Georg or chopsticks Gustav arrive in their hands, triggering lively skirmishes around their trophies ...
After being teased a bit 'at the end also soak my towel and I'm going to stick to the side of the stage, watching the drummer launching the wave from the top of a platform.
We embrace the three of us, once safely beyond our bodyguard.
- and it went too! - Georg exclaimed happily.
- Already ... and now I'm going to get dressed up for my lady, if you please! - Wink.
- Ah, yes that Tom has an appointment today! Bill said what?
- He said he is happy for me ... but by the way, where's Bill? I have not seen yet ... - I see account, suddenly worried. Bill is waiting for us backstage, usually, before returning to her dressing room to remove make-up and cool down for a moment.
Where the hell have you been??

pass a few hours of mad pursuit, but are unable to perceive the passage of time. Everything is suspended, caught up in the terrible feeling of emptiness and absence which fills my lungs and stomach. I feel suffocated, but we do not want to believe.
But that sort of horrid jam incorporeal called panic that overwhelms me only mean one thing: Bill has really disappeared.

*

I watch her breathing move a strand of light hair that has slipped on his face.
My fingers touch the strings of the guitar, once again spreading the notes of our song. The notes of that song that he wrote and sang only for me.
E 'has happened countless times in front of an audience of fans crying, screaming and compassion. But he has always looked to me just as the words came from his lips.
Those same lips that are now in semischiuse slightly troubled expression.
seems that for years he did not pass, it is the same as then, I can not find the signs of aging on her body.
The scars of a long winter, however, mark his skin, tears fossil dig furrows in his pale cheeks, his eyes sunken dark shadows, deeply incised crescents where her long fingernails have penetrated into the palms.
has not said a word, nor opened his eyes, but his studying the physical evidence I can see her pain, the difficulties he had to live, the cruelty that has been exposed; those bruises if he is not made certainly by myself, and I was not there when they were inflicted. I had been able to protect him, I could not help him.

"... You escaped my fault? E 'is the question that puts pressure on my lips to exit, while the silence pressed on my ears smashing eardrums.
I do not have the courage to ask you while your eyes are still closed, I do not have the courage to break the vacuum that the guitar was left blank. Suddenly I am sorry to have it placed on the floor at my feet, to take your fragile hand and cold in my attempt to heat it up, feel alive again, as before our first exhibition, to calm you down when you squeezed the ice and trembling. Clean your skin is so different from how I remembered it, do not even remember when was the last time I saw you make-up. Lowered eyelids nude black dall'ombretto seem so light, so dangerously on the verge of open. I'm afraid of your eyes. I do not want to see us in your sentence on me, at least I hope you are forgiving. I hope at least ... "

hold my breath while his eyelids tremble a little and then opens his eyes. After a moment of slight disorientation, he looks at me.
His hazel irises are so different from then. They are veiled in guilt and sadness. Wet with bitter tears swallowed too many times.
stronger squeeze his hand to his lips and me trying not to cry.
sat up beside me and smiles.
a tired smile and uncertain, he smiles the smile of someone not because he has the strength to do it, but because wants to deceive the world that everything was going, and it will go well for him when the word "hope" has become a utopia because every hope has flown away like ashes in a cruel wind.

I hated that smile. Too many times I had seen him without knowing him, and even now it reminds me of the profound disgust for myself that has haunted me over the years.

Bill's smile cracks as soon as my thoughts reach it. He looks away from mine, wiggles his hands from my grasp and is enclosed in a guilty silence.
No. .. I do not want to walk away. It 'just came back again if he was leaving he would die really.
raised his chin with two fingers. My eyes again are reflected in her.

Tomi, I read in the core of his irises. Desperate. Supplicant.
(Eager)
cradling her face She takes the shape of his jaw thin in the palms of my hands wide. Again her eyes beyond my breaking that contact just established.
can touch the lump in his throat. The movement of swallowing. The slight vibration of his vocal cords.

- Ssst. - Silenced him gently.
Then I reset the distance between our faces. Between me and his lips made of wax. The most wrong in our lives, but more comfort just yet.

soon as the time to notice the salt that washes the mouth and Bill burst into tears, burying her face in my shirt. The kiss my hair, feeling the familiar smell of her tears spread like incense in the room air.